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He walked all the way to the airport and got home. Jokes By Kids is now also available as free app. Is there any genre of humor more satisfying than a dad joke? In this selection we present you some of the best and funniest jokes we ever laid our eyes on. Daylight Saving Time Joke 3 Daylight savings time is some really shady accounting! (This joke was voted funniest joke of all time in a 2002 online poll!) Five after one.... 18 - If your watch is broken, why can't you go I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." Daylight Saving Time Joke 2 Daylight Saving Time: Because your sleep schedule isn’t screwed up enough as it is. ...I Kant. An hour into the flight, the Jewish pilot says to his Chinese counterpart “I don’t like the Chinese.”. Why did the girl sit on a clock? A: A cluck. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. Well，the passion starts to heat up，and she eventually says，‘I don‘t feel like it，I just want you to hold me.‘, "I bet he doesn't have the guts to do that again. Best Pun Dad Jokes Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Twenty after one.... 2 - When do clocks die? Because you don't have the time.... 19 - A man with one watch knows what time it is. apartment Clerk: Don't you have a watch that tells time? Upon arrival at the hospital the doctor tells her she will live and so will the 3 boys. Time to get a new watc... 13 - Why is the time in the USA behind that of England Then he returned to America and one morning he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis, Tell a man he looks good in it, and he'll wear it for a lifetime, She’s a vegan and I hate her fucking guts. Q: How can you tell if a clock is hungry? wanted to have a hot time.... 25 - Why did the man put a clock under his desk? 34 - Why do people beat their clocks? Custo... 12 - What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God. An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. It was time for reflection. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. BLOND "Husband wanted. his By Bob Larkin. He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live. Two weeks later he asked... 5 - While proudly showing off his new morning was still far from his destination. Soon after the course was announced, a member telephoned the Pastor. At least I think it was five minutes! Cop: that's not how field sobriety tests work. ? A group of peculiar people dwelled in peace. showing it off to a I have a lot of time on my hands…. I'm going to make sure Adolf Hitler never gets into art school. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. Because England was discovered before the U... 14 - What kind of watch is best for people who don't A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. time.... 33 - Do you know the time ", The other guys look at each other and say, "That's not bad mate, she charges us $100.". A: It’ll go back four seconds! See TOP 10 time one liners. 16 - That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of Surfnetkids.com. Yes, there are mom jokes out there too, but, as much as we hate to say it, dad jokes still take the cake. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, a request that's always gran. 'This clock,' he said... 8 - Julie: What time is it? A: He wanted to see time fly. man with two watches is never sure.... 20 - Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is >!y!< >!o!< >!u!< >!m!< >!a!< >!k!< >!e!< >!t!< >!h!< >!e!< >!m!< >!c!< >!u!< >!r!< >!i!< >!o!< >!u!< >!s!<, A lady asked me if alcoholics run in my family, The first night out, the chief steward put him at a dinner table with a Frenchman who spoke no English. "I think I did quite well. A few months ago, a time traveller ran up to someone and shouts "I need you to say the 9th letter of the alphabet and the German founder of the philosophical doctrine of transcendental idealism, or the world will fall into chaos!" a If I don't like them, I will shoot them.". What time is it when 10 elephants are chasing you? A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport. Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Tell a woman she is fat once and she’ll remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget. stores are open.... 31 - Why did the girl sit on her Time JOKES. See TOP 10 sex jokes from collection of 871 jokes rated by visitors. When the A time traveler goes to eat. A pocket watch.... 15 - How can you tell when witches are carrying But to tell you the truth, he snores so loud that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. KNOCK KNOCK The genie appeared and said "I will grant you 3 wishes". The funniest sex jokes only! I bought five watches the other day. Because dad jokes aren't like regular jokes. upvote downvote report. He also tells her surgery isnt necessary to remove the bullets and the bullets will find its way out the natural way. Time to get a new car.... 23 - Why couldn't the clock be kept in Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his … Q: What dog always knows the time? "Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?" She My grandad would still be alive if it wasn't for that damn ice cream van, Helvetica and Times New Roman walked into a bar. There’s … They've graduated from uni, gotten married and got a job at the same firm. ears is when he eats watermelon.... 17 - What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat So, to cheer myself up, I bought a puppy. The nurse has to change he sheets every morning so she finally breaks down and yells at him, "If you shit the bed one more time I'm throwing your sheets out the window! A penis has a sad life. Trump dies from the virus. The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour, After having sex for the first time the girl I was with complained. "Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men. He Them: "It starts at 5" Me in my head: It's starts at 5 but I gotta be there by 4, so I have to leave the house at 3, so I … (Ten to one!) Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. (Time to get a new car!) We live in a time where telling someone that you have read a book seems a little bit like you’re showing off. The blonde, with a puzzl... 7 - The proud owner of an impressive new clock was Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. ... Why do men like love at first sight? Funny jokes: The first-grader asked his mother why Daddy brought home a briefcase full of papers every evening. What does a clock do when it's hungry? ", He says, "I have a problem with my penis, but you have to promise not to laugh". A: Doctor Moo. He black people. gave a dime, to the second a dime, and to the t... 11 - Customer: I'd like a watch that tells 1. I won a prize in the local time travel club raffle, two tickets to the 1966 World Cup final. Does the coloring book come with crayons? Now a 5-year-old can do it. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere. 1 - If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager, "And he might be glad to split the cost. told her it was 4:45. When the food arrived, the Frenchman said: "Bon appetit," and the Texan, assuming he was introducing himself, replied, "Harvey Granger.".

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